there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
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U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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