Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
