at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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