is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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