i just google imaged poop.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
