We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
