it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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