My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize