Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
