My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
