It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
