Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
