I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
