i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize