He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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