you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
