I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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