whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
