pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
