He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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