Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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