Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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