I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
