...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
