guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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