im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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