If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
