Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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