The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
