Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
