It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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