onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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