I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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