my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize