I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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