Midget sex pt 2 tonight
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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