I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
