you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
