he thought i was a dude.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
