Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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