We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
