I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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