i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
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almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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