Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
