Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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