u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize