if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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