There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
