I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize