She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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