If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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