In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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