I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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