I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
