At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
