My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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