were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
