So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
