i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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