First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
