I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
