I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
