i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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