I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
