Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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