I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
