you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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